A Kind Man

Afternoon, readers.

This post is made due to my promise to K that I would try to elaborate what I felt that night. Haha. But I would like to remind you again, that eventhough I've tried so hard to put it in words, it might not be as well-elaborated as your expectation.

It was the night when K told me that he made a Tumblr account about me. He gave me the link and I opened it. I went through the pages, did a quick-read cause I wanted to read it from the first post and go backwards. And from the quick read of the entries, I felt bad instantly.

I felt bad for a lot of reasons. From making he felt all sad everytime I get mad or badmooded. I should better talk to him directly rather than being all silent. I should better be offline rather than being online and let him reached me. And I should better not be that childish to let him know I was in a bad mood.

That's my nature I can't easily change. I grew up to be an introvert who think that my problems might be seen so damn unimportant to other people. I grew up as a girl who can't control her words when she's mad or not in a good mood. That's why I never talked to him everytime I got all badmooded, I don't want to make everything seems worse.

But there he was, always kept reaching me and asked me what happened with me. Convincing me that it's better to let it all out to him and let him know rather than being silent. Comforting me. He always made me feel that I'm never alone. And sometimes, when I didn't feel like talking to anyone, I ignored him.

That is why I told him that he's just too kind for me, for bearing my bad traits. He is always sincere, and I feel really really bad to ignore those sincerity.

And forgive me, if in the future time I would still be silent when I'm mad or in badmood. But in my silence, I will still feel your kindness and sincerity, and I will still feel bad for ignoring, as I always do.