My Big Mouth and What is Important

I was always all talk.

Speaking wise and pretty words while in fact, I never done any of them. Take off my speech and there's nothing left of me but a pathetic shell of a man. I was fine until I realized talk is cheap and it means nothing in front of you.

Do you know how I admired you so much? I admire your actions; how you do them without talking at all. You rarely say a word, instead you will do what you're supposed to do, without asking anyone to take notice. You have that self-consciousness that not many people in this world have.

You once said that when you dislike something, you try to be the exact opposite of it; Does that mean you dislike the way I treated you like I will play with you only when I'm bored? It's not that way at all, but words are so cheap.

That's how I came to resent myself. I was your polar opposite, and somehow I end up with a person as wonderful as you. I feel undeserving, yet at the same time, fortunate. Somehow I would hate myself for not being as good as a partner as you.

Most of the time, I didn't give that much thought on it.

What was the most important thing in my life? Along the road of life, the answer is often forgotten. Waves of experience would wash over me overwhelmingly, to the point where I forget about everything else. What is the most important thing in my life?

I'm not denying the fact that I 've done horrible as your partner in these years of your life, and maybe you deserve someone better. But seeing as we're stuck together already, maybe I should stop talking right now and be a better man, be the best man I can be for the best woman God has entrusted me with.

Your kindness is so dazzling it put me to shame.

written in shame and guilt. The night where I failed to put she who's the most important to me first.

We're Lucky

If you ever forget of what we're doing, just remember that we're just one of thousands circumstances who have blessed with tons of luck.

We're lucky to have fallen for each other.
We're lucky to be apart from each other to explore ourselves more, but not too far to ease yearning.
We're lucky to have found someone who matches our wavelength.
We're lucky to have the chance to live the fairytale out of the movies.
We're lucky to have a very understanding pair.
We're lucky to be capable to share feelings for each other, even it's not in the level of love, we're far better from those people who love someone that don't belong with them.
We're lucky to have problems so we can learn some life lessons.

We are lucky from those people who don't share the happiness stated above, K! :)


ps: written at 1 AM when I got insomniac-problem and K's already sleeping on his bed.