Relapse

Dear D,

Do you remember this place? I still visit it from time to time to remember the good old times. It's a good thing that it does not disappear, cause I'm in need of a place right now. Things change. 5 years was not a short time, but honestly it's not that long. We're still together, so that's one thing I'm really thankful for. But how did we end up like this?

I'm dying to tell my story, but you have turned into someone I can't tell mine to. Why? Cause I know it won't change a damn thing. You once quote someone who said that it's not a matter of who wins the argument, cause deep down both know what' right. I've come to realize that reality is not that simple. My reality has been utterly and completely rejected by you, I know.

Now, it also seems like you're not interested anymore. There's definitely a limit on how much one can ignore the fact that one is being ignored. I'm afraid I'm reaching mine.

Clicks

It's been such a long time since I wrote. Determined to resurrect my passion in writing things, I have decided to start writing again. People say the easiest thing to write about is something you like the most, so, I will write a little, not only about D herself, but about me and D, about our relationship. Cause while it is true that D is the one I like, but there's also something about the chemistry between us that's really hard to dislike.

I won't be offended if you (if there's even anyone reading this blog created for personal consumption) call me and this whole blog ridiculously cheesy, or sickeningly boasting, mainly because it's true :)).  

Liking someone and liking the chemistry between you and that someone is different. You may like someone because of their looks, but that doesn't mean you can chat till midnight with that same person and still have lots of things to talk about. Chemistry, in my humble opinion, share almost the same level of importance as feelings. But then again, good chemistry stems from the feeling of wanting to be with each other and interact, so I guess in the end as long as you like each other enough, you will be fine. Wait, I'm just babbling and contradicting myself here.

The point is, I feel blessed to be able to be together with someone I have good chemistry with. Me and D works as a lot of different type of relationship, she's like my sister, my daughter, my best friend, my student, and many more. I like what I have with D since it's not just our feelings that tie us up, but also because of the good friendship we have, the brother/sisterhood, and many more. 

D is somehow like a sponge, she accepts anything that I'm talking about and relate to it. Maybe this is why we always have a very good time chatting, although in a non-relationship context. We do run out of things to talk about sometimes but when it do, our feelings of wanting to chat gives us the will to look for things to talk about. I guess our feelings for each other synergize with our dynamics as a friend, and that's what makes D so fun. We share the same interest and point of view, but we also have our difference, which we always try to cope with. 

I don't really know why I wrote about this, maybe because last night, after such a long time I have a really fun conversation with D, and that reminds me how lucky I am to find someone that fits this perfectly, someone that clicks right into me.


 

Owl City

Something about Owl City songs always reminds me of you. Innocent, full of life, sophisticated, and unique.

I'm alone listening to On The Wing and I miss you so much, D :))

My Big Mouth and What is Important

I was always all talk.

Speaking wise and pretty words while in fact, I never done any of them. Take off my speech and there's nothing left of me but a pathetic shell of a man. I was fine until I realized talk is cheap and it means nothing in front of you.

Do you know how I admired you so much? I admire your actions; how you do them without talking at all. You rarely say a word, instead you will do what you're supposed to do, without asking anyone to take notice. You have that self-consciousness that not many people in this world have.

You once said that when you dislike something, you try to be the exact opposite of it; Does that mean you dislike the way I treated you like I will play with you only when I'm bored? It's not that way at all, but words are so cheap.

That's how I came to resent myself. I was your polar opposite, and somehow I end up with a person as wonderful as you. I feel undeserving, yet at the same time, fortunate. Somehow I would hate myself for not being as good as a partner as you.

Most of the time, I didn't give that much thought on it.

What was the most important thing in my life? Along the road of life, the answer is often forgotten. Waves of experience would wash over me overwhelmingly, to the point where I forget about everything else. What is the most important thing in my life?

I'm not denying the fact that I 've done horrible as your partner in these years of your life, and maybe you deserve someone better. But seeing as we're stuck together already, maybe I should stop talking right now and be a better man, be the best man I can be for the best woman God has entrusted me with.

Your kindness is so dazzling it put me to shame.

written in shame and guilt. The night where I failed to put she who's the most important to me first.

So, here's the picture of the Seafood Mix I promised you!

Da Seafood Mix.

The skin was so gooood, but the filling is a little bit disappointing. The best Hakau I ate was when I go out with D to this food court in Bogor, but it's damn expensive. 14.000 rupiahs for 3 Hakaus, WHY ARE DIMSUMS EXPENSIVE?

Anyway, The Chinese Box also serves Bapau, Shomai, Rice Noodles, Noodles, Kungpao Chicken, and many more XD. Gotta try them later :3

A Booth Out Front

So I was just arriving in Bandung like an hour ago. I went back to Bogor on the weekend to fetch my high school and National Exam certificate, while stealing time to spent with D. Even now I'm still feeling the aftertaste of hanging out with her, lols. But enough with cheesiness, that's not the point of this post, actually.

So, on the way to my boarding house (kosan, for you Indonesian fellow), there's this really small red booth/shop in front of a house I notice every time I walk to my campus. It's a booth called "Chinese Box" that serves takeaway Chinese Food for the price of 15.000 rupiahs. And every single morning, when I'm making my way to ITB, I would check that booth out, to see if it's open. Mainly because I kinda crave for dimsums lately, and secondly, because of my curiosity about the inside of that small, eye-catching, well-designed booth.

Going back again to one hour earlier from now, I was singing my way back home when I passed that very same booth. The booth, emitting a dim red glow in the dark of the night, has plastic chairs lining up in front of it. It's open. I considered passing right through it, reminding myself of me being a college, boarding kid, thus I should save money, but in the end, the tempting and incredibly well design of the booth *not to mention the smell of Chinese food* win me over.

The inside wasn't bad at all. It's packed with ingredients, leaving just enough space for two cooks to... well, cook the Chinese foods. I ordered seafood mix, a mix of seafood dimsums, but feels a little disappointed afterwards seeing the tiny portion. I shrug it off and while waiting for my dimsums to cook, took a little moment to mentally applaud and appreciate the well execution of this brilliant Chinese food takeaway booth idea.

I took my fragrant seafood mix, paid 15.000 *still in a little disappointment* and continued my walk to my boarding house.

The idea of a little booth in front of my house seems really nice. I pondered upon the idea for a while, thinking how nice it would be to have a little booth out front my future house. It would be a plain booth, with a display that could change, meaning it won't have to be just a Chinese food booth, or a Yogurt booth, it could be both! I'll open it up whenever I want to, whenever I'm bored at home and have nothing to do. I'll hone my cooking skill so everyone would enjoy my foods, and starts to ask when will I open my booth, to which I answer, "You'll just have to wait.". And on one nights when I opened it, people will start to swarm the place, even texting their friends to say that my place is open.


Imagine how fulfilling would that be.

Imagining me in the future, spending long nights chatting till drop in my booth with my wife *preferably D :p*, while waiting for customers, taking turns in serving them and competing to make better food, puts a smile on my face. The future have endless possibilities, and I know it would be amazing if I could go there with D. We don't actually plan ourselves to stick together till marriage, but hoping on it instead while just going through whatever this thing is :3. 

Lots of ways to enjoy life on the years to come, and I guess a booth out front won't be a bad idea.

P.S. I'll post a picture of the Seafood Mix later ;)

It Began

It began, D and  I officially has started a Long Distance relationship. As of yesterday, I have started to live in Bandung, away from D.  We decided to go the distance a week before I go, like what we agreed upon *so we won't think about parting until 1 week before we part*. I hope everything will be okay with us.

And as I write this post, alone in my rented room, all I can think about is D. Lol, It's going to be a tough year.

How I Met The Damsel

Worry not, cause this is not a parody attempt of the hit rom-com, but a real-life story instead. I gave up writing humor a long time ago when my mind got more rational. Not promising I would not start again soon though, I may post some lame-ass humor post, even here, in the near future.

But anyway, let's just cut to the chase.DO NOT expect a 10 season story on this cause this is just another uneventful meeting, I assure you.

It all started on around mid-2009 in the front yard of our lovely *yet corrupt* school, SMA Negeri * Bogor -we're not telling you what's our highschool, yet. It was the afternoon assembly on the regeneration period of an extracurricular in our school, one that your mother... -wait, scratch that- I mean, Damsel and I joined. We actually joined on the same year, despite the fact she's my junior, so both of us are new in that club -cause extracurricular is such a long word.

And just like that, I saw her for the first time. She was wearing a scout uniform -you see, D is a sociable person unlike me, and she also joined Scout, and is looking so fresh. Fresh as a freshman -just FYI, she's a freshman. I was not interested at all -well, maybe a little- in her at that time. Back then, I only see her as someone I will be acquaintanced to.

The first words I hear from D was a simple introduction -it was meant so that everyone will get aquaintanced, it is a committee regeneration period after all, shyly spoken. After stating her name, *********** ***** ****** -not the real amount of letters, she finishes with a hint of a smile. Yea, she was showing off her rabbit teeth.

But never once I imagined that that rabbit smile will be my favorite for a long, long time.