A Birthday Note

 

Happy birthday, dear Knight!

I can do nothing but to write you a birthday note from home.

Take care and come back soon...

Patience

I think over the many years of dating and break-ups, if there’s anything I learnt about loving someone and being in a relationship, it’s patience.

It’s not about how sweet you can be, how much gifts you give, or even how much you’re willing to do for your loved one. It’s about how patient and understanding you can be when things aren’t going right, when someone does something that makes you angry, sad, or hurt.

If I think over every single argument I’ve had in the past, and the break ups, most of the time, if only one side could be more patient and understanding, everything could’ve been prevented.

It’s actually really easy to treat someone nicely, it’s easy to do a lot of sweet things for someone, it’s easy to shower someone with love and gifts. But it’s so hard, so hard, to be understanding and patient when things aren’t going the way you want. It took me so many years to try to learn this, and even now I can’t say it’s easy, but I know I’m trying.

In this relationship, I lose in almost every argument I have with my girlfriend. Not because I have no sense of principle or opinion. It’s because I think that for almost every argument, it’s not really important who wins, deep inside, most of us all know what’s right and wrong. It’s just at the heat of the moment, we become stubborn, or we let our emotions take over our logic and we argue. In the past, every time I win an argument, after it’s all over, I know deep inside who was right and who was wrong. If you care and love someone, try to just let little meaningless things go, sometimes even let the big things slide... just a piece of my mind.


by: hjstory.deviantart.com This what I should take in mind.

We're Lucky

If you ever forget of what we're doing, just remember that we're just one of thousands circumstances who have blessed with tons of luck.

We're lucky to have fallen for each other.
We're lucky to be apart from each other to explore ourselves more, but not too far to ease yearning.
We're lucky to have found someone who matches our wavelength.
We're lucky to have the chance to live the fairytale out of the movies.
We're lucky to have a very understanding pair.
We're lucky to be capable to share feelings for each other, even it's not in the level of love, we're far better from those people who love someone that don't belong with them.
We're lucky to have problems so we can learn some life lessons.

We are lucky from those people who don't share the happiness stated above, K! :)


ps: written at 1 AM when I got insomniac-problem and K's already sleeping on his bed.

A Kind Man

Afternoon, readers.

This post is made due to my promise to K that I would try to elaborate what I felt that night. Haha. But I would like to remind you again, that eventhough I've tried so hard to put it in words, it might not be as well-elaborated as your expectation.

It was the night when K told me that he made a Tumblr account about me. He gave me the link and I opened it. I went through the pages, did a quick-read cause I wanted to read it from the first post and go backwards. And from the quick read of the entries, I felt bad instantly.

I felt bad for a lot of reasons. From making he felt all sad everytime I get mad or badmooded. I should better talk to him directly rather than being all silent. I should better be offline rather than being online and let him reached me. And I should better not be that childish to let him know I was in a bad mood.

That's my nature I can't easily change. I grew up to be an introvert who think that my problems might be seen so damn unimportant to other people. I grew up as a girl who can't control her words when she's mad or not in a good mood. That's why I never talked to him everytime I got all badmooded, I don't want to make everything seems worse.

But there he was, always kept reaching me and asked me what happened with me. Convincing me that it's better to let it all out to him and let him know rather than being silent. Comforting me. He always made me feel that I'm never alone. And sometimes, when I didn't feel like talking to anyone, I ignored him.

That is why I told him that he's just too kind for me, for bearing my bad traits. He is always sincere, and I feel really really bad to ignore those sincerity.

And forgive me, if in the future time I would still be silent when I'm mad or in badmood. But in my silence, I will still feel your kindness and sincerity, and I will still feel bad for ignoring, as I always do.

Distraction

I've never been really distracted from the day when my report is given to my parents. I usually got panicked, some kind of regrets rushed into me in the night, or get myself busy with unimportant things just to keep me distracted by the fact that tomorrow is the d-day.

But it was June 2011.

K told me that the last day of my exam week will be the first day of us to get into a talk. Yes, readers, K is leaving Bogor to college, and at that time we haven't decided on what would we be after K leave. I mean, Bogor and Bandung is so distant, we won't be able to see each other for months. I used to question myself, how would a relationship work if we don't see each other? Having the thought that I and K will part in a week saddened me. So I thought so hard and came up with an idea.

So, after one tiring week of last exam, I got fully distracted by this thing. By myself and himself. By the future. I thought we need a lot of time to think what's best for us, but it took only less than 2 hours when K finally said that he wanted to stay this way. Or in another word, have an LDR. What I know is, next time I agreed his idea, cause we both know that deep inside our hearts, we don't want this to end... yet.

It was a really nice week to spend with K, until the last day he stayed in Bogor. We had a really good time we know we won't forget for the rest of our lives. And it was 2 days straight to the d-day, and I didn't even think about my reports.

It's not because only I had some quality time with K, but it's also because his help.

I've been studying hard for the exam back then, limiting myself to communicate with him, so I wouldn't get any remedials, and my last week with him won't be ruined. And I succeed! Ah, it's not fully because of my hardwork, it was because of his help too.

K helped me. A LOT. TOO OFTEN. From January (where we know the 2nd semester started) until I had the exam week. Even via texts, or IMs, or DMs, and direct teaching.

Friday, when I got my report and he left. I wish I could show him my report in person, show him how much he has inspired and motivated me through the whole semester.

Thank you, I'm a step closer to my dreams :)



P.S. If you ever wonder what's this post about, don't ask me. I have no idea. Don't be mad.