Relapse

Dear D,

Do you remember this place? I still visit it from time to time to remember the good old times. It's a good thing that it does not disappear, cause I'm in need of a place right now. Things change. 5 years was not a short time, but honestly it's not that long. We're still together, so that's one thing I'm really thankful for. But how did we end up like this?

I'm dying to tell my story, but you have turned into someone I can't tell mine to. Why? Cause I know it won't change a damn thing. You once quote someone who said that it's not a matter of who wins the argument, cause deep down both know what' right. I've come to realize that reality is not that simple. My reality has been utterly and completely rejected by you, I know.

Now, it also seems like you're not interested anymore. There's definitely a limit on how much one can ignore the fact that one is being ignored. I'm afraid I'm reaching mine.

Apologies

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for taking your time. For making you wait because of my usual lateness, when you can easily enjoy the city view on your own. For making you go to the same place again and again, when you could easily roam and find new places. For wasting your time waiting for my texts, while you miss out countless talks and funny lines delivered by many kind faces you know. For making you accompany me and chat about the least important things in the world, while maybe somewhere, your close friends are disappointed for you bailing out on them. For hijacking your nighttime, while you can sleep soundly to reduce the gray bags under your lovely eyes, or even study for your bright future. For making you cry sometimes, when you could save those tears for the more important things in life.


I'm sorry for making you know me
When you can find millions of people who are something more
Kinder, smarter, wiser, funnier, and more good-looking
And definitely less sappy and cheesy
There's a lot who would fall head over heels over you, that I'm sure


I'm sorry for making you miss out the most wonderful things in life
While not being wonderful enough to make you feel that you don't miss a thing

A Birthday Note

 

Happy birthday, dear Knight!

I can do nothing but to write you a birthday note from home.

Take care and come back soon...

2

Happy 2nd anniversary D, there's just too much to say :).

Clicks

It's been such a long time since I wrote. Determined to resurrect my passion in writing things, I have decided to start writing again. People say the easiest thing to write about is something you like the most, so, I will write a little, not only about D herself, but about me and D, about our relationship. Cause while it is true that D is the one I like, but there's also something about the chemistry between us that's really hard to dislike.

I won't be offended if you (if there's even anyone reading this blog created for personal consumption) call me and this whole blog ridiculously cheesy, or sickeningly boasting, mainly because it's true :)).  

Liking someone and liking the chemistry between you and that someone is different. You may like someone because of their looks, but that doesn't mean you can chat till midnight with that same person and still have lots of things to talk about. Chemistry, in my humble opinion, share almost the same level of importance as feelings. But then again, good chemistry stems from the feeling of wanting to be with each other and interact, so I guess in the end as long as you like each other enough, you will be fine. Wait, I'm just babbling and contradicting myself here.

The point is, I feel blessed to be able to be together with someone I have good chemistry with. Me and D works as a lot of different type of relationship, she's like my sister, my daughter, my best friend, my student, and many more. I like what I have with D since it's not just our feelings that tie us up, but also because of the good friendship we have, the brother/sisterhood, and many more. 

D is somehow like a sponge, she accepts anything that I'm talking about and relate to it. Maybe this is why we always have a very good time chatting, although in a non-relationship context. We do run out of things to talk about sometimes but when it do, our feelings of wanting to chat gives us the will to look for things to talk about. I guess our feelings for each other synergize with our dynamics as a friend, and that's what makes D so fun. We share the same interest and point of view, but we also have our difference, which we always try to cope with. 

I don't really know why I wrote about this, maybe because last night, after such a long time I have a really fun conversation with D, and that reminds me how lucky I am to find someone that fits this perfectly, someone that clicks right into me.


 

Patience

I think over the many years of dating and break-ups, if there’s anything I learnt about loving someone and being in a relationship, it’s patience.

It’s not about how sweet you can be, how much gifts you give, or even how much you’re willing to do for your loved one. It’s about how patient and understanding you can be when things aren’t going right, when someone does something that makes you angry, sad, or hurt.

If I think over every single argument I’ve had in the past, and the break ups, most of the time, if only one side could be more patient and understanding, everything could’ve been prevented.

It’s actually really easy to treat someone nicely, it’s easy to do a lot of sweet things for someone, it’s easy to shower someone with love and gifts. But it’s so hard, so hard, to be understanding and patient when things aren’t going the way you want. It took me so many years to try to learn this, and even now I can’t say it’s easy, but I know I’m trying.

In this relationship, I lose in almost every argument I have with my girlfriend. Not because I have no sense of principle or opinion. It’s because I think that for almost every argument, it’s not really important who wins, deep inside, most of us all know what’s right and wrong. It’s just at the heat of the moment, we become stubborn, or we let our emotions take over our logic and we argue. In the past, every time I win an argument, after it’s all over, I know deep inside who was right and who was wrong. If you care and love someone, try to just let little meaningless things go, sometimes even let the big things slide... just a piece of my mind.


by: hjstory.deviantart.com This what I should take in mind.

Owl City

Something about Owl City songs always reminds me of you. Innocent, full of life, sophisticated, and unique.

I'm alone listening to On The Wing and I miss you so much, D :))